The year of 2008 stepped the year to commemorate. In this special year, although we success to hold the Beijing Olympics, we have won international acclamation and facilitated the global economy. We will still hold one thing there is no short access to success. And on contrary, we have been through a lot of adversities and frustration, such as the eruption of Wenchuan Earthquake; in May of this year, and also a lot of obstacles come to the Olympic Flame Relay. But we cling to one idea that is One Word, One Dream. And we efforts finally are well acknowledged by the international medias and society.
批改：
1. we success to hold the Beijing Olympics 用词不对，应该用动词succeed.
2. And on contrary 词组不正确，是on the contrary.
3. and also a lot of obstacles come to the Olympic Flame Relay. 应该是过去时。
4. And we efforts finally are well acknowledged by the international medias and society. 首先应该用形容词性物主代词，Our；后边的名词单复数变化错误，单数是medium,复数是media.
评析：
这是一篇个人的小随笔，应该说整体不错，没有太大的失误，而且用到了很多好的词汇，值得鼓励！
