It all seemed as usual on at that morning, and I was heading for the school, and I boarded on school bus as usual. Suddenly the bus came to an abrupt stop, and then I heard a hard breaking scream. When I rushed my way to it, I saw a man lying in a pool of blood, and he couldn’t stir. I felt at a loss. At that time someone nudged my arm, and pointed at the telephone booth, so I suddenly realized I should call the emergent number 911.
批改：
1. It all seemed as usual on at that morning 介词重复，去掉at.
评析：
首先，作文字数不是太多，但是叙述的整个故事很清楚，而且描述得很好，并且运用了大量的描述性的动词，非常好，如果能够在内容上充实些就好了！
